#lifegoals

FullSizeRender (7)I occasionally like to entertain myself by asking Max and Brooks, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Max loves trucks and his answer always involves driving a vehicle. Currently, he wants to drive a hauler.

Brooks is a dreamer so his answers vary a bit more. He has wanted to be many things including: a “wobot” (robot), the always-popular “Fire Fuck Man” (I’m sure you can figure that one out) and a “touw-boy” (this one took a bit of decoding to discover he did not mean a towel-boy, nor a cowboy, but rather a CAT-boy).IMG_7140

My younger sister, Caitlin, wanted to be a lawyer as far back as she remembers. She realized this childhood dream and has been practicing law now for six years. Although, just this past week she announced that she is less than thrilled as an attorney and would perhaps be better suited for an alternate career… like a white-water raft guide! 🙂

Erich, my husband, grew up ON a ski resort. His young ambition was to ski as much possible and for as long as he could. He did just that. The first thirty years of his life was spent engaging slopes all over the world. Then reality called and he became the worlds greatest real estate agent or, as he likes to call it, “used house salesman.”

When I was young, I don’t remember setting too many life goals for myself. I do remember saying, “If I ever go to prison, I will write a novel (during my incarceration).” I must have been 10 years old at the most. I didn’t think I would end up in prison, but I did think I had come up with a GENIUS PLAN!

First off, I have to say, going to prison is not one of the skeletons in my closet. I drank a lot and often to the point of invisible consciousness but I never did any extreme law breaking… I did end up in handcuffs though. Once guys, JUST ONCE! And not for anything cool or wild, I just had a hard time with airports…but I digress.

All my life, I didn’t know what I wanted to be or do. Of course, I had silly dreams of being a fairy-princess or even a pop star (basically Madonna, but a very shy version with extreme stage-fright). Mostly, I wanted to be happy and I didn’t want to hurt. Through a series of taking the easier road, I went to college, graduated with a business degree, then did nothing with that degree for about four years. Instead, I waited tables and polished some nasty habits. I’m not getting into those years of my life today because this posting is not about my drinking story.

The point is that I didn’t put much thought into what I wanted to be when I grew up. I just wanted to get through life happily. I thought if I followed the rules and was a nice person, someone would hand me a grown up job one day (hopefully well paying), I would do it and all would be merry. The end.

I am now shocked by my naivety. The thing is, before I knew well enough to look, life got away from me.

All through my early twenties, my innate predisposition was to try to find happiness through comfort. Here was my formula for life (using simple logic):
I am happy when I am having fun. I am having fun when I am doing the things I want to do. Therefore, I must spend as much time doing the things that I want to do if I intend to live a happy life.
Guess what this is called… HEDONISM!
Well now that I spell it out it does sound a bit crass.

If you had asked, during those years, “Why are you living this way?”
I would have responded with a lie that I would try to believe myself. Something like, “I’m improving the wealth is of my heart, not of my purse.”
HA!

The time did come for me to put my degree to use and I worked in corporate finance for about 8 years. Then, I gave birth to Max in 2012 and he changed all of my freshly-developing professional ambitions. I didn’t know I would have such an intense motherly instinct. After fighting with my ego, my heart won and I became a stay-at-home mom. In 2014 we added Brooks to the mix and our home was filled with beautiful chaos. By being a mother to these two rambunctious boys, I have learned the true meaning of dedication and hard work and most of all LOVE!!

The Cabe family is just coming through a long year, full of challenges. The pain, sadness and frustration we endured were the hardest things I’ve ever encountered. We persevered because of God’s loving hand and countless prayers. Our family was carried on wings of a thousand angels. Living through this, I feel more confident in myself than ever before. I know what I’m made of: I am a fierce woman who loves intensely and can be hurt deeper than imaginable. Even in darkness, I can blossom. I know that God is real and powerful.

These days, Brooks is generally feeling better. Max is more and more independent. The boys are playing so well together. I am gaining a little more freedom. With this privilege, I am enjoying a childlike dream state. In a sense, I am now trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up!

It’s not that I’m disenchanted with my present circumstances. I am incredibly grateful for this life. Even considering Brooks sickness, it is better than anything I could have planned for myself! Still, there is more to me than motherhood. The boys are becoming less and less dependent on me, I find declining fulfillment in the house. I know my boys need me and will continue to for some time; I’m not ready to send them off to daycare just yet. Still, I realize I have a burning desire to challenge myself mentally in a more professional field again.

Weighing my options and interest, I have a growing aspiration. I am going to submit my resume to a local firm. Lucky for me, I know the boss. I’m talking about WORKING FOR MY HUSBAND!? Not as an agent, just in an administrative capacity. I know, for a fact, he could use some help. (For example, the efficiency of excel escapes him). Some may think of my intention as a step toward martyrdom. Really, this is going to be good for all of us; not to mention the job security of our marriage counselor…

I’m only partly joking. Honestly, I am excited about the prospect of having responsibility and analytical challenges. Erich is fantastic at what he does. I can learn from him (and in more areas than just real estate). DO NOT TELL HIM I SAID THAT. There will be no end of his “helpful” lessons now. He already shows me how to screw the cap back on the salad dressing daily. (I have issues with caps.)

For you, my friends who have been so incredibly kind and supportive to my new hobby, I have a few questions for consideration:

  1. What were your childhood dreams
  2. Did those goals influence your life’s direction
  3. Do you want to do something different with your life now?
  4. Do you think it is too late? Is it?


Categories: My Vibe House (Where all my issues live)

Tags: , , , , , ,

7 replies

  1. Haha I also planned for prison contingencies from a young age and figured I could read 1000 books and get an additional degree through an online or mail program :). When I was little I wanted to be a vet, then a rock star. I ended up doing neither. In college I started to guess the direction I wanted to move in and ended up working in a field I love doing something I love that I can’t talk about on the internet 😉

    Like

  2. I was always afraid I would end up in jail but never had an idea about what I would be doing while in jail. From childhood through high school I wanted to be a doctor. A female Jewish Doctor… my parents were ecstatic. Then I got to college and was exposed to other exciting areas. I’m on my second career now and am also wondering what I should be when I grow up. The great thing about life is that you can always reinvent yourself. It’s a beautiful thing. I hope you enjoy working with Erich. He definitely needs the support!

    Like

    • I am so grateful to be an American woman. We really do have so many opportunities to leave our marks on the world! I think that was part of my problem though… too many options. I have a hard enough time with ordering from the Cheesecake Factory menu, and that’s just lunch! Thanks for the vote of confidence and best of luck with your future endeavors! xo

      Like

  3. This is so great! Congratulations! You deserve all the happiness in the world. You’re going to be great at anything you choose to do. My parents worked so hard to give us an amazing life and all I wanted to do was be a cashier and live in a trailer park. Thank God I don’t always get what I want! I am running background checks on those daycare providers you speak of and at 37 as a new mom I’m in the process of starting my own background investigation business. Never too late!

    Like

    • Thanks, Meghan! So funny about your trailer park ambitions! I would agree that things have worked out a little better than you had hoped. Now that I think of it, I’m surprised that being a private investigator has not made the list of future careers for either Max or Brooks… Especially considering the number of Magnum PI episodes Erich has forced the boys to watch! Please tell me you drive a Ferrari and you have a houseman named Higgins! 😉

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: